It's Not Enough
by Tiva4evaxxx
Summary: She gasped, hot liquid seeping out, “Lisbon,” Jane said his voice panicky," Lisbon has been kidnapped by Red John. Jisbon. Hope you like it! Kinda crappy summary but i'm tired :P the fic will be good!
1. Chapter 1

**I know, i'm insane, another fic. This is short and kinda crappy, but i promise it gets better i just wanna know what people think of the whole idea. **

**Disclaimer: I. Own. Zilch. Nothing. It really sucks :P**

Chapter 1

She was slumped on the floor, her mouth gagged, eyes wide. Her body was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, her hair sticking her pale strained face. Her pants were ripped up, as was her top.

She was tired, emotionally and physically. Every bone in her body ached.

The door opened and she winced, with fear, anticipation. Time to get ready for another round. She glanced up at the smiley face on the wall; it was in blood, but not hers. Not yet, that is.

She was strong, she could get through this. Then she heard his laugh, and all her hopes were crushed.

"Agent Lisbon, nice to see you again," the voice chilled her to the bone, and she tried to brace herself as he advanced towards her, knife in hand.

He came right close to her, and she didn't let herself close her eyes. She would not be weak in front of him, she had to stay strong. It might be the only thing she had left.

He untied her gag, "I like to hear them scream," he said sneering at her.

"Well I'm sorry I'll be disappointing you," Lisbon said, expressionless.

"We'll see about that," he told her, giving her a warped smile.

"And, you know what I'm going to do this time?"

She shook her head, silent not wanting to play his mind games, but not wanting to get hurt either.

"I'm going to record your screams, your precious voice, and you're going to be begging me to kill you. And it will break his pathetic heart all over again." He sneered.

She didn't say anything.

"It really quite fun you know, he's just started to find love again, it's sweet actually, so I'm going to take it all back again. I know you've been naughty Agent Lisbon, I know you've been sleeping with him for a while now. I know you have feelings for him, and he has feelings for you. It's time to see how deep those feelings run."

She closed her eyes, hatred and heartbreak in her eyes. She didn't want him to see that. The cruel, twisted sick murderer in front of her. She'd know it had been a bad idea to sleep with Jane, to let herself have such strong feelings for him. She'd known he would get hurt. Yet she had still done it, she'd been a selfish bitch, and now, now Jane was going to have to live with the consequences of her selfish mistakes.

"I'm going to ring Mister Jane, and you're going to talk to him. Understand?"

She nodded slowly, trying not to think about how much this was going to hurt him. Hurt both of them.

She could hear the phone ringing, she didn't want him to pick up, but she knew that wouldn't happen.

After just one ring, he picked up. "Jane."

"Jane,"

"Lisbon, thank god," she swallowed, she couldn't take this, "Where are you, I've been so worried?"

"Patrick," he voice stammered, trying to get herself together, and half succeeding, she continued, "He's got me Jane."

"No," he said disbelief colouring his tone, "No, not you."

"I'm sorry," she said, "Don't play his games Jane," she said, and he cut her in the arm.

She gasped, hot liquid seeping out, "Lisbon," he said his voice panicky,

"I'm fine Jane, look, this, this isn't your fault ok."

He hit her again, and she groaned, "Teresa," he whispered. "I can't lose you."

"This isn't your fault," he hit her again, she bit back a moan, "Patrick, I, I love you."

He heard a scream, then the line went dead.

**Please review! What do you guys think? **

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the review everybody! Sorry if there's any mistakes i sleepy. :P This is however longer, i was pleased with the feedback for last chapter, i'm glad people liked it! So please keep those reviews coming!**

Chapter 2

"No - no," he yelled down the phone, even though he knew there was no longer anyone at the end of the line.

The rest of the team came running, and he frantically ran a hand through his golden curls, muttering to himself incoherently.

"Have you found boss?" Grace asked, out of breath.

Earlier that day, Lisbon had disappeared off the radar and she'd been gone for several hours. They'd tried her cell repeatedly, but it had been switched off, and it wasn't like her to just disappear like that, she would always let Jane know where she was going, and her cell phone was never off. He'd got that feeling, that feeling that something was wrong shortly after Cho had last had contact with her, but he'd shrugged it off, and then a few hours later when she still hadn't turned up at work, and wasn't answering her home phone. He'd began to acknowledge that feeling, becoming increasingly agitated and worried. It was ironic that he'd been relieved when she called, he remember vividly the moment it dawned on him 'He's got me Jane' and the softness, the vulnerability in her voice when she said his name 'Patrick'. He remembered the gasp, the involuntary noise she made whilst trying to bite back a moan. He remembered the blood chilling scream, and the line cutting off. That was what she got for telling him she loved him.

She loved him.

God he'd been so stupid.

"Jane?" Grace's voice had a hint of concern to it. Little did she know.

"He's got her." He said, holding back tears.

"You're not making sense man," Rigsby said, a confused look on his face.

"He's got her, Red John's got Lisbon." He put his head in his hands.

"How do you know?" Grace asked, the younger agents voice cracking.

"I just got a phone call from her," his voice was shaking.

"Well what did she say?" Cho asked, actually showing some emotion.

Jane closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to keep tears at bay.

"She said, 'He's got me,'"

"Is that all she said?" Rigsby asked.

"She, she said some other things too."

"Well what else did she say?" Rigsby said,

"Wayne," Grace said softly.

"No, it might help us find her, what else did she say?"

"Nothing that would help us find her," Jane said quietly.

"Are you sure there wasn't any hidden message or something?" Rigsby urged.

"He was obviously right there with her, he, he did something and she gasped. I think he hurt her or something." This time a tear did escape, he brushed it away quickly, but the rest of the team still stared. "Look what she may or may not have said to me doesn't aid us in any way in finding her, so we need to stop standing here talking about it and do something."

"We need to let Minelli know," Cho said, filling the awkward pause that had followed Jane's outburst.

Jane nodded, "Grace can you do that?"

She didn't respond, "Grace?" He said again.

She lifted her head, "Sorry, yeah, I'll do it," she hurried off.

Rigsby followed her, and Cho and Jane watched as he caught up with her, and said something to her. It looked like she was wiping away tears, and Rigsby wrapped his arms around her.

Jane looked away; remembering the last time he'd held Lisbon... this morning in her bed. He'd woken up, and pulled her closer to him; she'd smiled, happiness sparkling in her eyes. He'd made some comment about them staying in bed all day, and she laughed told him that they had to go to work and tried to roll away from him. He'd put a hand around her and pulled her back to him, turned her over and crushed his lips to hers.

They hadn't broken for air until he started kissing down her neck, and she'd moaned but was laughing. Told him they couldn't, and to behave. She'd jumped out of bed before he could do anything else that would make her stay, and had backed into the bathroom smiling back at him, and a few seconds later he'd heard the shower turn on. He'd been left in bed, grinning widely, thinking about how for the first time in a very long time how insanely happy he was.

Looking back now, it was ironic.

By the time he looked up again, Rigsby and Van Pelt were gone, and he and Cho were still standing there.

"She screamed," he said completely out of the blue.

"What?"

"She, she said something to me, and Red John didn't like it and she screamed, and then the line went dead."

"This isn't your fault," Cho said immediately.

He smiled bitterly, "She said that too."

"She was right," he said, "Now, what do you want me to do?"

"We'll wait for Van Pelt to get back and see if she can do a trace on the call." He said, looking around not entirely sure what to do.

"I'm... I'm just..." he gestured wildly,

Cho just nodded, and for once Jane was thankful that he didn't say anything.

He turned, and headed for her office.

They'd been what she called 'dating like regular people' for several months now, but really nothing about their relationship was regular. He sat down in the chair behind her desk, and opened up one of her drawers. There were various objects in it, pens, some letters, then he found what he was looking for. That he knew she kept in here, not that she would ever admit it, but so she could look at it whenever she wanted too. It was a picture of them; she kept it hidden in her drawer because she, a. Knew that everyone knew that if they went in there she would shoot them and b. Because it would kinda give away a few things.

It was an average quality phone picture, but he'd been messing around with her one morning in bed and taken a picture her head was on his shoulder and she was laughing, he was smiling and he'd just quickly picked his phone up and taken a picture. At the time she hadn't even noticed she was laughing too much. But he'd shown it to her later and she'd smiled, then told him to delete it. In the end he'd printed it out and given it to her.

Her jacket was still flung carelessly on the desk, it was a hot day and she didn't need it. Jane picked it up, the material soft on his fingers. He pressed it to his face, it still smelt like her. That gorgeous spicy cinnamon kind of smell, he loved it.

He was still holding the jacket when the rest of the team walked in.

"We let Minelli know," Rigsby said,

Jane didn't need to guess how he'd taken the news.

"I don't understand, why did he take her? What's the special connection?" Grace asked, an unhappily confused look on her face.

"He wants to punish me."

"Yeah, but he could have taken any of us, I get the women thing, but why not Van Pelt?" Cho said.

Jane supposed they were going to find out at some point, and they deserved to know the reason she was taken. That it was all his fault.

"It's my fault," he whispered,

"No, no it's not-" Grace started.

"No, it is. He's taking away the people I love, all over again. Lisbon and me... we've been together for several months."

**Dun dun duuunnnnn.... lol :P It was longer, but did you like it as much? I know not much happened, but i did quite like it...**

**Please review!  
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	3. Chapter 3

**I re read the last chapter, and realized just how incredibly crap it was, so i do apologize! Your reviews were amazing though, so thanks so much! **

Chapter 3

Lisbon clutched the deep cut in her shoulder, the cut that had resulted in her scream.

"Ring him back," she said. Tears shimmering in her eyes, mingled with pain. The cut was stinging badly, and she wished this was just a nightmare. That any second she would wake up, with Patrick beside her smiling and holding her hand tight. But the harsh reality was that this wasn't a nightmare, this was terrifyingly real. The pain radiating through her body told her that.

He laughed coldly, "After what you just said 'Patrick, I, I love you'" he mimicked her, "I don't think so, why did you have to go and say that? You're really not doing very well. You don't get this at all. I suppose you just doubled the heartbreak he will feel when he finds your body sliced up, cold and dead on the floor though. So there is an upside," He sneered, "Imagine the guilt he'll feel when he sees your body." He taunted.

She went white, and fear filled her, that cold creeping feeling that filled every part of her body, slowly. Like a sense of dread, rising. Slow, but uncontrollable. She didn't want to die.

"You're going to do exactly as I tell you, because it might prolong your pathetic life slightly, and because if you don't, I will find Patrick Jane and cut him up into little pieces, do you understand Teresa?"

She nodded, trying to keep her face blank.

And to her surprise, Red John walked out the room. But she knew he would be back.

Jane was stood in front of some very surprised and shocked colleagues, but all he currently cared about was Lisbon.

Then his cell rang. He scrambled to get to it as quickly as possible, panic filled him... if it was who he thought it would be...

"Jane," he answered immediately.

"Mister Jane,"

"Put her back on," he said forcefully, trying to stay calm. The team immediately sprung into action around him, he watched as Van Pelt started to trace the call. Maybe, just maybe there was hope yet...

"Patience, she's not here."

"What have you done to her?" He asked, panicked.

"She's alive, for now."

"Put her on,"

"I'm afraid that's not possible."

"What do you want?"

"For you to suffer, mister Jane, and from what I can tell so far it is working."

"Put her on," he yelled.

"I've told you, not possible."

"What do you want from me?" he said, this time broken, pleading, "You want me, you don't want her, let her go and I'll do whatever you want," his voice was desperate.

"I do want you, but it's much more fun watching you suffer. You have just confirmed how much you care for her. The game begins at 8, Mister Jane. From eight o clock, I am going to cut your precious Special Agent Teresa Lisbon, every ten minutes. So if I were you I'd hurry or else I might just start with her pretty face."

Then the line disconnected.

Jane turned away from the rest of the team, closing his eyes. Trying not to imagine Lisbon's lifeless body on the floor, lying in a large pool of her own blood, skin a cold deathly white.

Van Pelt shook her head, "I couldn't trace the call," she said quietly.

The team stood there in a horrified silence, "You and Lisbon?" Rigsby said to Jane, eventually breaking the silence.

"For a couple of months. Cho knew," Jane informed them.

"Is that true?" Grace asked him in disbelief.

"I kinda guessed, it wasn't that hard." Cho said,

They stood in silence again, Lisbon, Lisbon was their rock. She was like the mum of the team, everyone was lost without her. Especially Jane. In tough times she told them what to do, sometimes she was their boss. But mostly she was their friend. They weren't just colleagues, all of them. The team was her family, and she was part of the teams family. Without her they could fall apart. Already there were cracks around the edges, lingering there and threatening to get bigger, to split them up. And it was Red Johns fault.

Jane sat down in the chair, broken.

No longer was there a playful, happy look on his face. He wasn't even bothering to hide behind a mask. His face was a picture of pure hurt, torment, torture. Heartbreak was the look haunting his eyes as he gazed across the room.

Her words echoed in his head, 'Patrick, I, I love you'

He might never have the chance to tell her the same thing.

In five minutes, the game began.

And this time, Red John was not going to win.

He couldn't.

He would not lose her too.

**What do we think? :P If you like this, you should go check out my other fic i'm about to UD Change is Coming :) It's good i promise!**

**Please review :) Pretty please with a cherry on top :P**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys. I'm sooooooo sorry i haven't UDed in so long, it's not just this fic, for those of you who read pretty much any of my other fics will know. I just haven't been UDing in general. School has been crazy, but i'm tackling it, one fic at a time! So hopefully they'll be coming soon. This chapter is for Hayley (OutCold) because she pretty much wrote half of it, amazing writer and awesome friend :) I had a block and she helped me through it, so you have her to thank for this UD! Thanks Hay. Also for Hannah, for also helping, and making remarks with me about how it would be Hayley who could get into the mind of psychopathic serial killer. :P Thanks to both of you :)**

Chapter 4

His humourless laugh rang out across the room, and she cowered in the corner, shaking. "You heard that? Oh I am sorry," he said, in anything but an apologetic tone.

She had said she wouldn't cry, and she was trying so hard. She couldn't let him break her. For Jane's sake, not just hers. But the shaking was uncontrollable, from what she'd grasped during the phone conversation she didn't have long left. And the little time she did have, wasn't going to be pleasant.

She drew in breath sharply, hissing at the searing pain that radiated from the cut on her shoulder. He laughed again, "You never should have started seeing him, Teresa, you love him? That's no excuse, by 'loving' him," he sneered at the word, "you've just put him through more pain. Did you hear him on the phone? How upset he was? It's your fault, Teresa, all your fault. If you really, truly loved him, you would've pushed him away. Turned him down, but no, no you were too selfish for that," he spat at her, "you couldn't possible turn him away, you can tell yourself you had your reasons, but deep down, you know that it was you, you were so wrapped up in yourself, you couldn't see what this would, inevitably do to him."

She knew he was just saying it, all of it, to provoke a reaction from her. Her training taught her that, she knew what he was doing, but she winced at every word anyway.

"Maybe you don't love him at all. Don't worry, I won't tell. Just between you and me. Just say it Teresa. Just tell me you don't love Patrick Jane,"

She stayed silent, shaking, hurting because of the words.

"Say it," he said raising his voice, "Say you don't love him,"

She remained silent, but she couldn't hide the whirlwind of torment behind her eyes.

"Say it!" He yelled at her, brandishing his knife wildly in the air,

"I can't," she whispered, and fearfully watched the anger build up even more in his eyes, she didn't know what repercussions her next words would have, but she had to say them, she needed to say them. If anything might get her through this, it would. "I won't, because I love him," she said, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling, the emotion too strong for her to fight.

"That," he said breathing heavily, a mad look in his eye, "was a big mistake Teresa," he started walking towards her, and she scrambled, shaking, pushing herself against the wall in desperation, knowing it wouldn't work. He would get her in the end. But it was in her nature to fight, and he could go to hell if he thought she wouldn't put up a struggle, and she didn't give a damn that she was making it his most exciting game yet.

She looked around desperately, for something, anything, and this time when blade slid over her skin, she cried out, clutching her knee, squeezing her eyes tightly trying to cope with the pain.

"Teresa," he laughed, "Teresa, you don't believe you can win, do you? You lose, you die, and then you keep losing. You are the pivotal point, Teresa. The world revolves around you. Your team revolves around you, what will they do when they find your body? Darling Patrick won't be able to continue, will he? And that leaves who? Grace, Kimball, and Wayne. Grace will break down, you know I'm right. She'll push everyone away from her, including her lovesick puppy. He'll turn to drink, because he is the type isn't he? Cho is perhaps your best friend. He cares for you, and them, more than he'd ever show. I think a part of him will die, Teresa. I think his coldness will become more than superficial. They won't group together. They'll fall apart. Your family needs you. And they can't have you anymore, can you? You're mine."

A strangled sob escaped her lips, and all the pain and regret and hatred seared through her, she was strong, but she couldn't take this. The thing that was killing her was the fact she could see quite clearly, how much he was enjoying her reaction, the amusement in his eyes filled her with such rage, such boiling hatred. The man, no the thing in front of her, had destroyed the man she loved before, and he was going to do it again. And she hated him. She hated herself, because this time she would be the thing that would cause him pain. It was her fault. And she loathed herself for it. The pain was intolerable, emotionally, physically. It was draining, and blood, blood was everywhere, and that wasn't even the thing that was hurting the most. Her heart hurt the most, her heart was bleeding. And this nightmare, this freakish, horrific nightmare was a reality. And the likelihood was that she would be dead in an hour. She, herself could cope with that. What she couldn't cope with was knowing how much it would hurt him, and she was scared. She recognized that look in his eye, and moaned softly, he was going to start again. He smiled at her, and she knew she was right.

"Can't you see him, Teresa? Can't you see him in a darkened room - your room? Do you think he'd be crying? Do you think he'd have any tears left? Will he turn to drink? I see you shake your head - he's not the type is he? So how would he cope? Could he go on? Maybe he couldn't live without you Teresa. Maybe I won't have to kill him."

Shaking, she curled up, and tried to control the tears, not wanting to relinquish control. But it was too late, she was too far gone. The, the very thought that he might contemplate that, made her cry out in pain. It made her heart rip in two, made her blood turn to ice. Then it dawned on her, that, this is what Red John does. This is what torture feels like.

**Please review! If not for me, for Hay :P I've been really amazed by the number of reviews i've got for this so far, and i know i haven't UDed but please do review! Those of you who write as well understand what a HUGE motivator reviews are :P lolss**

**Thanks again Hay, and thanks for reading and reviewing (i hope!)**

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	5. Chapter 5

**So... guys.... I can't remember when i last UDed this, my Mentalist fics are a little blurry... oh sugar i really need to UD It'll be Fun.... Sorry. Anyway, new chapter, because i think i need to finish this one soon. So, a few more chapters, and i think that'll be it. But i do like this one :) Hopefully you do too... **

Chapter 5

She locked eyes with him; she didn't want to look away. No matter how much it hurt, she wanted to be strong.

She could see in his eyes that he took a perverse pleasure in her pain. He watched as her face contorted in agony, the fire in her eyes, fuelled by hatred squeezed shut, breaking the promise that he was certain she had made to herself to not break eye contact. She was the type - strong, determined. In his opinion, it was probably admirable, in a kind of twisted way, yet so stupid. Why do none of them understand, life is easier if you just give up? She had fought back; he had had to straddle her to keep her still, pinning her shoulders down. He had reached for the knife, as it gleamed oh so beautifully in the light, and was running it slowly, deeply down her arm. Her pretty green eyes had widened and now they were closed. Her body had gone limp. She had stopped fighting, for now at least. Her face was screwed up with the pain, and a slow smile spread across his lips as he drew the knife towards him, inch by inch.

He stopped, and she finally allowed herself to breathe, her lungs were screaming, beginning for oxygen. She drew short, sharp, ragged breaths, her mind and body trying to cope with the pain. He watched her try and fail to regain control, her green eyes filled with tears, those eyes gave him shivers, he could understand a little better now why he had chosen her. She was something else, yet you could take one look at her and walk away. You had to look closer to see the real beauty, and, he smirked, Jane had looked closer.

Her breathing was still manic, and she was writhing on the floor with agony as the blood pooled around her, it stuck to her, the hot liquid was everywhere, as it formed a circle around her she gasped for air again, desperately trying with her other arm to stem the flow.

She looked at him; her eyes radiated hatred, and flashes of the torture she was going through. Beads of sweat were visible on her forehead; she was so tired... and dizzy... It would be easier to slip away. But she knew better than a lot of people that easy wouldn't cut it... if easy was her only way out, she would take it. But not while there were still other options, not while easy meant losing people she loved. He had shifted off her, and trembling, she dragged herself out of the pool of blood, and shaking, unsteady on her feet, managed to stand, leaning against the wall.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, leering at her.

"Why did I do what?" she spat, anger evident through the obvious pain in her eyes.

"Why did you let him draw you in? You're a smart, successful government agent, you knew this would happen. So, I'm asking you, why?"

She bit her lip, she didn't want to play his games, or particularly answer the question, but she also didn't have much of a choice. "Because he deserves it, he deserves to be happy,"

"He won't though, that's the point," Red John laughed, "he won't be, because I'm going to kill you, and that, that will make him very very sad," he said mockingly. "That's not the answer, and you know it Teresa, so, why?"

"You heard me, I love him. That's why,"

He laughed bitterly, "There's no such thing as love, and Patrick Jane, he is incapable of loving anything. All he sees is revenge, that's all he wants. He doesn't love you, he could never love you,"

Her heart twisted, and while she knew his words shouldn't touch her, that they weren't true she couldn't stop herself from lunging at him in anger, it was stupid, it was irrational, but for a very short period of time it sure as hell made her feel better.

Jane had his head in his hands.

_Think, think, think, think, think, think, think. She needs you, she needs you. And you need her, you need her to fight, to stay strong long enough. You need to goddamn think!_

"Jane," Grace's soft voice snapped him out of it, and he looked up at her, "We need to do something," her voice was desperate, "It's quarter past eight, it's only going to get worse..."

"What can we do?" he asked, his tortured eyes looking up at her.

"I don't know, but you, you know him better than anyone, you've been after him for years, if anyone can think of something it's you!" She exclaimed, her eyes shimmering, "You're not the only one who can't lose her,"

He stared at her, and suddenly it was like a light bulb had switched on in his brain. Without another word, he sped out of the room, "Jane!" Grace shouted after him,

"Jane!" she yelled,

"I think I know where she is," Jane shouted back, and, disbelieving, Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho jumped up, and sprinted after him.

**A tad shorter than normal, but not that bad. I know i haven't UDed in a while, but please review :D They make my day.**

**Oh, i almost forgot, MERRYCHRISTMAS!!! I hope you all had a good one :D**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Another chapter so quickly! I know :O Thanks to Hayley and Hannah for the help on this one, although i didn't use those things because i forgot them and closed the MSN window too soon... oops :P Oh well i got it done. Enjoy! **

Chapter 6

He threw her down with little effort, mockingly, back into the pool of her own blood. She was weakened; she was in no fit state to fight him. That is why love is stupid, pathetic – dangerous. It blinds you, she hadn't been thinking straight when she went for him, and the harder she fought to keep herself alive – for him no doubt, more than the others, the weaker she got.

Lisbon spat out the blood she could taste in her mouth, and turned herself onto her back, instead of face down in her own blood.

"Why?" he asked, pushing her again.

"I love him," she said, bracing herself as he delivered a hard blow across the face.

She could see the anger building up in his eyes, his fists clenched, trembling.

He could blow at any time.

Grabbing her by the hair he pulled her up, she followed him, deciding it would be best not to provoke a angry psychopathic serial killer intent on causing her harm.

A knife pressed very threateningly to the small of her back, he unlocked the door, and pushed her through, "Up," he snarled, prodding her again.

She climbed the stairs in front of her, a plan formulating in her mind. She seemed to be in some kind of basement, and as she reached the top of the stairs, she found herself, with great surprise, in a house.

"Up the other stairs," he said, "Don't you recognize it, Teresa? Don't tell me in all the months you've been dating, he never showed you his house?" Red John's voice was taunting and cruel, and the shock hit her. It coursed through her veins, stunning her into silence, stopping her in her tracks. This was his house. He had bought her here to kill her, and leave her in the same place as he had left Jane's wife and daughter all those years ago.

Fighting back tears, she swallowed, if he was taking her up... She tried not to think about it, and focus on her plan, but his cruel laughter was breaking her concentration. "He didn't bring you here, not once?"

She ignored him, but the tears stung in her eyes. Of course they had talked about it, he wasn't ready to show her, he had said. And she could understand that, she still could. But this, finding her cold, lifeless body in the same place when he came home after frantically searching for her, to no avail, would kill him. All over again. He didn't deserve that kind of pain.

She let out a small noise, which could only be described as the sound of a heart breaking, as she realized his plan. If he succeeded, the consequences were too painful to think about. She couldn't let this happen.

She climbed the stairs, praying that what she was about to do next would go right.

They reached the top, and walked to the door that went straight on, "Open it," he sneered.

Slowly, calculating she opened the door, she could feel she could feel anticipation building up in her, hoping the adrenaline that was beginning to rush through her veins would conquer the fear that accompanied it and carry her through what was about to happen.

She span around, so quickly his brain didn't quite register what was happening, her training kicked in, and she knocked the knife out of his hand as it clattered down the stairs, whilst simultaneously knocking him out from under his feet. Without hesitating, she sprinted back down the stairs, and picked up her knife on the way, he was already scrambling on his feet again, and as she looked around desperately she could hear his feet thudding down the stairs. Her heart was beating fast inside her chest, and she headed left, into what appeared to be the kitchen. She had a knife in her shaking, blood stained hand, but she was weak. Her reflexes were good, and she didn't like her chances if he caught her again.

"You're going to regret that," he said, softly, almost calmly, as he rounded the corner searching for her.

She looked around her, he was getting closer and closer, and she didn't know if she was coming towards a dead end or not, she didn't know where the rooms would lead. She came to a back door, and quietly, trying not to alert him, she tried to open it. Pushing harder and harder she realized with silent dread that it wasn't going to open, no matter how hard she pushed, she looked around desperately for a key, and heard him looking, bashing things around in the room next to this. Tears of frustration, and fear and absolute dread all blended into one poured down her cheeks. She could hear her heart beating, the fear was rushing through her veins, the anticipation - she could barely breathe.

She was shaking uncontrollably, and she looked down at the gleaming object in her hand. At least now she had a way of defending herself. She wiped away her tears, and stood, hoping, praying, that she would come out of this alive.

Jane had never driven so fast in his life, he was probably breaking several laws, but at that moment he didn't really care. They reached their destination, and they got out of the car, running towards the house, "Where the hell are we?" Cho asked, for the millionth time in the last ten minutes.

"This is my house," Jane said, "She's here, I know she is,"

"Do you have any evidence?" Grace asked, desperately, she was so scared, she knew that if they were wrong the consequences would be deadly.

"No, but I know him," Jane said fiercely, "I've been looking for him for five years, I know how he thinks, why are we wasting time?" he asked looking round at the team, "Come on!"

They drew their guns, and made their way towards the house.

Lisbon was counting the seconds till he came out of the other room and found her, trying to formulate some kind of plan, but her concentration kept slipping, she couldn't think about anything except the pain in her arm, the sharp stinging sensation that radiated from the cuts. Then she heard something extraordinary, the sound of a door several rooms away opening, and then, as she held her breath, three gun shots rang out, each one making her heart leap. She heard familiar voices yell out, and the relief that flooded her was so overwhelming she had to take a steady herself.

"Lisbon!" A panicked voice that yelled out was clear above the rest, and she slowly, still shaking, made her way to the corridor which she had run down. Jane was stood there, pure panic painted onto his face, dread creeping into his darkened eyes - and then he saw her.

She was shaking, her hands especially and was holding a knife covered in blood in her right one. His eyes swept over her, her clothes were ripped; she was covered in her own blood, she was barefoot, and had several longs cuts to her arms and shoulder. But she was walking, she was alive. She'd been through hell and back again, but she was alive. She dropped the knife as he approached her and he wrapped his arms round her, shaking, she did the same to him. The tears started again, and this time she couldn't stop. Sobbing, her delicate form shook inside his arms. Emotions coursed through both of them, making it difficult to speak. He twisted his fingers in her hair, "I love you," he softly whispered in her ear, "I love you so much," he repeated, trembling.

That might have been the trigger, maybe it was the sheer relief that she wasn't going to be murdered, or perhaps just being in his arms again and feeling safe but it was too much for her heart, her head and her body to handle, because the last thing she remembered before she completely blacked out was Jane yelling in a panicked voice "I need an ambulance!"

**Please review, mainly because this is the - it's finally over chapter! I mean, this isn't the last chapter, but the next one probably will be, there certainly won't be more than two now. Please review, took me forever to write. Blame them! Not me... (Hayley *cough* Hannah)**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing... i hope anyway :)**

**Em xxxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok, so it looks really short, but it's actually quite long :P I tend not to do the whole long paragraph thing. Not sure about this one, i thought it would be the last one but it ain't. Another one, i would imagine, but this one cuts off in a place i decided i wanted it to. Lol. Thanks for all your reviews, they're amazing :)**

**This one's for Jen, *Shopping_luva91, seeing as she is forcing me to UD, so it's all her fault. I mean, i would have UDed sooner, but i didn't have internet for 6 days. I died. Several times. :P Hope you like this one.**

Chapter 7

He cradled her body in his arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was oblivious to the fact that the killer he had been hunting for years lay dead on the floor, and he didn't care. It didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was Lisbon.

Grace was the first to approach him, Cho and Rigsby were upstairs, he could hear distant shouts of 'clear' but he wasn't properly registering any of it. He glanced up briefly at Grace, she too was crying, a gasp escaped her lips as she caught sight of Lisbon, "Ambulance," he repeated looking at her, and shocked, she fumbled for her cell phone.

Her voice faded as the operator on the other end of the line picked up, and for the first time, he got a good look at the woman unconscious in his arms. Her face was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, mingled with a mixture of dirt and blood and a nasty bruise was forming just under her left eye. He trailed a hand down her cheek and traced his fingers lightly across her lips, flashing back to the many kisses they had shared. Suddenly a horrific thought flew through his mind – he might never get the chance to kiss her again, never get the chance to touch her, to see that beautiful smile of hers which made him forget everything in the world. But, more importantly, he might never have the chance to tell her how he felt. How much he loved her. He quickly snapped back to the present, here and now - disgusted that the thought she might not... that that thought had even fleetingly crossed his mind. Immediately he pushed the thought to the back of his mind, refusing to accept the reality in front of him. Refusing to face it, because, sometimes, in times like this the reality is too painful.

"Come on Teresa," he whispered, his voice painfully raw with emotion. "Hold on, damnit, I need you."He said, crying softly, staring at her through the tears, forcing him to take in the full picture. She looked so broken, and there was blood so much blood... He hated it so much, it was slippery and hot, and in his life blood was a symbol of one thing only: death. Her ripped up clothes were tainted by it, and there were several long deeps cuts all over her. Seeing her like this tore his heart in half, felt the pain and guilt tear through him. This was his fault, she was hurting and it was his entire fault. She could die, and it was his fault. He was to blame for all of it. He could hardly bear to look at her; her face was ghostly white under the blood, the shocking red stains harsh against the pale of her skin.

Cho and Rigsby hurtled down the stairs, Cho started, "Where is she?" then turned to see Lisbon cradled in Jane's arms. Cho rushed over to his boss, who was, first and foremost his friend. He almost threw up when he saw her, covered in blood she looked like she had taken a beaten. She didn't look good. She didn't look good at all. Jane looked up at Cho briefly, "Ambulance is on its way," he choked out. He didn't say anything, just nodded at Jane, before turned his gaze back to Lisbon, then to Grace and Rigsby. Then to the dead body lying a few feet away. Red John. Finally, finally the bastard was dead. That was a long time overdue. But deep down he knew it was too late, the damage had been done. Anyone who just looked around could see that, they were already starting to fall apart. Lisbon was their boss, but she was also their friend, hell she was with Jane, she was his rock. She was the rock for the rest of them.

What's a team without their leader? He couldn't help but wonder for a second, what would their team be like without her... They would be there. But they would not actually be there. Piece by piece, person by person, they would crack at the edges, chip, and eventually they would completely shatter. Break apart. It wasn't worth thinking about, and Cho turned his attention back Jane, and the woman in his arms that held them all together.

Rigsby kept glancing at Lisbon, there and limp, Jane holding onto her, willing her, trying to cling onto life enough for both of them. Grace was crying quietly, looking at Lisbon, then Jane, then Red John. She wasn't the kind of person that felt actual, real hate towards others very often, but this was the exception to that because there was simply no other way to describe the way they all felt about him. He wasn't a human being, he tore families apart, he'd been tormenting Jane for years, and he had left Lisbon... if they hadn't arrived here in time... well, they still might have been too late.

He could hear the sirens in the distance, but all he could do was stare at her. "Keep breathing," He muttered under his breath, "Come on, fight, you're strong, you can make it, I know you can," he said desperately, causing the tears to fill up his eyes again.

He brushed her hair away from her face, smoothing his hand over it. "I can't lose you," he whispered, "I can't lose you too, I love you," he whispered, "I need you to stay alive," he whispered again.

Then the paramedics burst through the door, yelling medical terms that were as good as another language to Jane, and before he knew it, he was pushed aside, away from the woman he loved, who was clinging to life by a tiny thread. Hanging there, completely oblivious to the fact that at any second, the tiny hold she had on life left, could snap.

**I know, i'm a horrible person. :P But olease review, because this one... hmm. Yes, not 100% sure. Not really 75% sure... i nearly didn't post. Anway, you don't need to hear about my self doubt issues. Thank the snow over in the UK for this one actually (as well as Jen) cos i had a day off school - time to do all my work AND write this :P You should all be proud. Lol. **

**Please review they mean a lot! And we are nearing the end :o I'll try UD quickly... and i have written really long A/Ns today. Sorry :P **

**Please excuse any typo's and random and weird authors notes... i'm very tired. I blame the snow, well, snowball fights... :P**

**xxxxxxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, so i'm not going to lie. I think this isn't.... well i think it's kinda crap actually. But, it's the last chapter! I'm really sad :( Thank you SO so sooo much for all the reviews, it's been amazing and i'm thankful for all of them :) ANd even though i don't think this one is all that good, you might as well give it a go if you've read the rest of the fic :P **

_He could hear the sirens in the distance, but all he could do was stare at her. "Keep breathing," He muttered under his breath, "Come on, fight, you're strong, you can make it, I know you can," he said desperately, causing the tears to fill up his eyes again._

_He brushed her hair away from her face, smoothing his hand over it. "I can't lose you," he whispered, "I can't lose you too, I love you," he whispered, "I need you to stay alive," he whispered again._

_Then the paramedics burst through the door, yelling medical terms that were as good as another language to Jane, and before he knew it, he was pushed aside, away from the woman he loved, who was clinging to life by a tiny thread. Hanging there, completely oblivious to the fact that at any second, the tiny hold she had on life left, could snap._

Chapter 8

It was all his fault.

She wouldn't be here right now if they hadn't given in to the feelings they had. If he hadn't fallen in love with her she wouldn't be here, if he hadn't joined the CBI in the first place she wouldn't be here, if he had just managed not to provoke the deranged serial killer, neither of their lives would be in tatters. Everything, all of it, came back to him.

Machines were beeping as he sat there in silence, not wanting to talk, but simply holding her hand – while his mind was in turmoil, while he felt as though he was drowning in his own guilt, and fear. He would never forgive himself if she died. Not only that, he would not cope. He couldn't lose another person he loved, at least not another person he loved as much as her. She deserved so much more than this.

She was out of surgery, the doctors said she had lost a lot of blood... something about internal bleeding. He wasn't really sure, he was just trying to focus on the fact that she was still alive.

The fact that Red John was dead, the old him... would have cared. But nothing in the world mattered right now except for her. He couldn't imagine the hell she had been through, and now he had her back, it didn't feel real. He couldn't let go of her hand, he wasn't physically able to – if he did she might just... disappear. She was sleeping, and she looked so broken. It hurt to look at her, but at the same time he couldn't stop. The doctors said that if she woke up, the chances were she'd be ok. If she didn't... 'Wait and see' were the words that the doctor had used. What he meant was, either she wakes up, or she's gone forever. If he was going to be honest, he wanted her to wake up, he had never wanted anything more, but at the same time, he was terrified of what he would find. What damage had he done? Mental scars take a much longer time to heal than physical ones.

He was terrified she would wake up, and be a completely different person. Part of him thought, knew that she was stronger than that. But this is Red John, this is what he does to people. If she did wake up a different person, it was his fault, his fault for letting Red John get to her in the first place.

Then he reminded himself that she might not wake up.

Memories were blurring into each other, all mixed up in her head, whirling round so quickly it was hard to distinguish one from the other, or pick them apart and focus on a single one. It was dark, and she could hear, but she couldn't see, or move. It felt like there was a huge weight crushing down on her, and everything was black, and still and unmoving. The only thing that felt real was the warm hand slipped inside her own, unmoving, one. Jane. She realized, relief warming her. She was still alive; the buzzing and bleeping machines she could hear told her that. Everything felt heavy, but something she could distinguish was the fact that it hurt. Her whole body, as pumped full of drugs as she sure it was – was still painful.

A few flashes of a scene, a room filled her mind, laughing... taunting. She could hear him... shots ringing out, collapsing in Jane's arms. She remembered. She needed to wake up.

Trembling, her hand moved inside of his, and heavily, her eyes fluttering open. She got a fairly good look at him before he noticed she was awake. He looked sad, but more than that he looked like he was taking the blame. He was letting the guilt consume him, eat away at him. And she wouldn't let him do that, she decided.

He had glanced away, for a few seconds, staring down at the floor and when he returned his gaze, it was like a miracle. She had opened her eyes, she was groggy, but she was awake.

Relief flooded him, and he had to hold back tears as he smoothed a hand along her cheek, unable to speak.

She squeezed his hand weakly, and tried to move, wincing at the pain.

"You want me to call a nurse?" he said, worry written all over his face. She shook her head, and opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off, "I love you," he whispered, looking at her, "I'm sorry," he said, leaning down, and enveloping her in his arms.

She couldn't say anything, she just pulled him closer, crying silently in his arms, unable to speak from the overwhelming relief of being with him again, being alive. And she knew, as he broke away and kissed her so softly it almost hurt, that everything would be ok.

**I could never kill Lisbon. Like i said, kinda bad, but i'd really appreciate reviews :) Especially for my last chapter. Massssive thanks to everyone who has read this, and an extra special thanks to those who have taken the time to review, it doesn't take long, but it means a lot :)**

**Thank you!**

**Emily xxxxxxxx**


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